Friday, August 21, 2009

I Miss Cheer leading!
A LOT!
SO MUCH .. that i woke up today went outside and performed all the cheers and motions I can remember from 3 years ago in front of my possibly shocked and mildly bored German Shepard - Sheeba..
i know back then it was like "grr i don't fit in" but i still miss it .. i miss the sense of being part of a team .. of a family .. of a sisterhood ..

i will go back to cheer leading .. when i get back in shape *cough*

much love~

Listening To: Backstreet Boys - The One

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 8:42 AM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I can't help but wonder if my brain is literally starting to rot! Honestly, today while chatting with S marked the 3rd time I forgot what I was gonna say.. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SAYING IT!! I can't help but imagine how inconvenient that is in various situations .. imagine

*imagine a moonlit night on the beach. B & G are sitting by the small campfire wrapped in Kashmir blankets.*
G: Honey, I think it's time I told you how I feel.
B: *while gazing deep into G's eyes* Don't hold back sweetie.
G: I think .. I lo..*long awkward pause*
B: *with a puzzled expression on his face* .. Well??
G: I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

See how that spoils EVERYTHING?! .. Now imagine...

*in a traditional Chapel, stained glass windows all around, flowers, guests dressed their best, and a beaming Groom by the alter waiting for his Bride as she appears to float down the aisle in her exquisite white Vera Wang wedding gown.*
Minister: Do you "Groom" take "Bride" to be your wife, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?
Groom: I Do.
Minister: Do you "Bride" take "Groom" to be your husband, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live?
Bride: I ...... honestly forgot what I was about to say .. sorry.

I mean really .. how much worse can it get?

*chuckles* oh well at least I still have my humor to fall back on. Let's just hope that doesn't slip away too soon now ok?

So now days when I forget things I want to say, I just laugh and say "Well you see, God visited my dreams one day and apologized for giving me dark hair, according to him he had planned to give me bleach blonde hair!"

*sigh*

Listening To: Boys Like Girls - Broken Man.

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 9:13 AM

Monday, July 20, 2009

SO I'm finally diving back into the blog world.. It's just that, I have quite honestly not been up to the whole blogging scene. Yes I have tonnes to say. NO i have not lost my touch. It's just that I haven't been entirely interested in blogging to be honest. Truth be told the only reason I'm blogging now is simply cause Angie keeps complaining my blog is dead. Well that and the other fact that it's 4.20 am ... I cannot sleep and I need someone to talk to cause SURPRISE SURPRISE! I'm feeling a Lil down again. (and no I actually have been sleeping at proper times these past few days and so it's not cause my sleep cycle is messed up) So what's been happening? well brace yourselves cause I'm gonna vent. It's been 3 years and I just realized I like this guy, but said guy looks at me as a friend, a confidante and apparently an "Intellectually Intimidating" person who speaks with a certain wisdom that I seem to not notice (his words entirely not mine .. cause I quite frankly think I'm a ditz) and that said guy is now dating another girl. One he describes as "angel faced". So once again I'm left here to pick up and superglue the pieces of my heart back together. But I don't blame him, I mean he did tell and ask me what I thought about the whole him dating this "angel faced" girl before he asked her out. I guess I should have said something, but I didn't, I just kept quiet about the whole thing and said it was cool. My ship has sailed, but it's too late to stop myself from falling, cause I've already been tripped. There are friends of many kinds, ones that help you out in any way possible, ones that support you emotionally, and then there's the kind that would do anything to bring a smile on your face. The kind I hate most, is the kind that helps you out when needed, but then when you are unable to return the favour in the same means, he/she resorts to backstabbing and turning everyone against you. I wonder if he realizes the amount of emotional strain he's putting my family through. For the record, I'm talking about a different person this time. Is it too much to ask for him to just take a step back and look at our situation before pushing us? I guess it's hard to understand what I'm yapping on about and I would explain if I could but I can't .. so we'll just drop that story for now. There's more, but ... i don't know .. i don't wanna seem like a depressed person.. I laugh when I'm around people cause I'm afraid they'd see the hurt through my eyes. I confuse myself now days.... I'm just gonna leave this post as is .. just cause i don't feel like finishing it ..

much love

Destiny (a.k.a Laksh)

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 1:15 PM

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It's the same cases everyday,
A place that produces an endless amount of deaths,
Did compassion disappear from this land?
I won't see it anymore,
I won't hear of the crashing reality,
Don't calculate everything by it's worth,
People are an important existence,
Tears of blood are falling again because of our dulled hearts,
Everything has been wiped out,
Like the things that once filled out worlds with beauty,
The dreams we had for the future died,
No one can take it,
There are no tears to shed,
I can't take the pain that is penetrating deeply through my bones,
Don't waste, and light the talks that concern humanity,
Look at the eyes of the ones you love,
Don't you see their happiness?
Tell them that this world is full of valuable things,
What do I do?
I'm standing silently in front of the things that people have thrown away,
This is not right,
I can't bare to just stand still and watch this happen,
Someday,
One day,
Next to the problems that you have thrown away,
You were left behind and i was left behind,
Don't observe other people's pains with joy,
We don't want it anymore,
I believe that you can change it,
Even in the darkness,
All the way to the end of the sword,
Show us the pain of your broken hearts,
Show me the road,
Like the things that fill this world with beauty,
We have to make it so that we will treasure this place,
And the Tears of Blood that once fell,
Won't fall no more.

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 6:48 PM

Saturday, February 21, 2009

(seriously dont ask why I wrote this cause I don't know myself .. all I remember is thinking up the first line .. thinking it was cool and then rolling with it)

I have become one with the requiem of truth,
Each nail carefully positioned in place,
Holds a distinct secret from my existence,
The secrets I have held together,
Bound by white lies, tears, and droplets of blood,
These are perhaps the secrets that i would have never have shared.

However today on my dying day,
As intricate white roses adorn this sleek black box I lie in,
My secrets are told,
Read out in my own words,
For the world to embrace,
For the world to hear.

I have become one with the requiem of truth,
The words I scribbled across pages through my existance,
All my likes, dislikes, hurt, anger, pain, jealousy, love ... HATE,
Chanted out loud .. like a hymn .. like a silent prayer ..
As if to show the world one last time,
As if to prove,
My life was never a walk on a bed of rose petals,
Alas it was in fact .. a walk amongst whole stems of roses ..
Thorns and all ..

much love ~
Destiny (Laksh)

P.S. :-/ It isn't quite finished .. I don't know whats missing .. help me out?

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 12:09 AM

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 10:20 AM

~Destiny~ tried to be different @ 10:10 AM